Tippetarius

A friend introduced me to "bardcore," a music genre where people do Medieval-style covers of pop songs. And right now I can't seem to get enough of the Medievalized versions of "Jolene" and "All Star."

Lonesome Dreams by Lord Huron is another song I've started associating with Rumarin. The narrator describes traveling through a beautiful but lonely world "where the only souls I see are ghosts"; it feels like something Rumarin might experience when he's alone in a land that's new and unknown to him. I believe he came to Skyrim to run away from his troubles in Cyrodiil, but the ghosts of his old life still follow him.

I see Rumarin as a lonely person. Even when he has companions, he keeps them at arm's length and never lets them know who he really is. Ask him a question, and you're lucky if he gives you a real answer; most likely he'll deflect or make a joke. At first it seems all in good fun, but sooner or later people begin picking up on the pattern. They start finding Rumarin tiring, annoying, or even suspicious. Eventually they go their own way, and Rumarin finds himself alone once again. Rumarin knows he's trapped in a cycle of his own making, but he doesn't know how to break out of it. Sometimes he's not sure if he wants to.

Sometimes I feel weird about choosing music to add to my Kyne's Gift playlist, especially when it comes to pieces that are classic and widely known. Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas is autobiographical and expresses something personal about the song writer. Over the years many other people have formed their own relationship with the song and attached their own meaning to it.

Knowing that, it feels a bit presumptuous to come along and say, hey, this reminds me of a character in this fanfic I wrote. Still, it's true-- it makes me think of J'zargo. Like the narrator, J'zargo tried to convince everyone that he was clever and wise and destined for greatness. Then his image of himself was altered forever.

I love this cover of True Colours by Marina and the Diamonds; it's serene and beautiful.

The song is on my Mehra playlist because Mehra tends to look for the best in people.

In The White Phial, J'zargo swaggers and talks big. J'zargo has much skill! J'zargo knows many things! J'zargo will be a great mage! But lurking behind that bravado is a lot of fear and insecurity. Deep down, J'zargo is terrified that everything his father said about him is true-- that he's useless and won't amount to anything.

Broken by Lovelytheband: Official video and lyrics-only version

A song about broken people finding each other and learning how to cope together-- I wish I'd discovered this when I was still writing The White Phial.

In a way the damaged phial is a metaphor for the main characters, who are all a little broken for one reason or another. Individually they may never be quite whole, but together maybe they can grow past that and become something more.